Is Love Still Alive?

This is originally posted on my Tumblr blog and reposted here for updates.

It’s way past Valentine’s but if you are a hopeless romantic who had been longing for romantic love and relationship for a long time, and still don’t have anyone to date with, then you must have been extra dreadful considering that today’s a Monday, and you’re still zero in the love game.

But I guess having no one to date is not something big of a deal anymore. Lately, there has been a decline in people being in romantic relationships. Forbes released an article that notes single people are on the rise and there is a need for adapting to the trend. The upward trend is due to the fact that single people realized they have access to more improved economic opportunities and they have more control over how they spend their time and money.

Being single means that there is a world of possibilities for the things that you can do for yourself and the people you care about. It doesn’t mean that you can’t do the things you want when you are in a relationship, but it simply means that being single is ideal if you want to do more for yourself. It might sound selfish but it’s important to put your well-being first more than anything.

There has even been a decline in people celebrating Valentine’s day. YouGov America published an article last year stating that more than half of adult Americans don’t think that Valentine’s Day is a special occasion anymore. According to the survey, it has dipped in popularity compared to other holidays because of people’s previous disappointing experiences on Valentine’s day. If Americans are not happy with their previous experiences, then what more of Filipinos who get all the meager things in life?

But does that mean love is not in the air anymore?

Not entirely, but it seems likely that people — especially the millennial generation — want to take things slow. Not only are love and relationship slower with their generations, but they are also deliberately not having sex compared to the previous generations.

According to a New York Times article, “digital saturation has made millennials more socially isolated, restless, and entitled, which could explain why they are having less sex.” While this article was published months before the pandemic, I think, more than anything, it holds true to this day. Millennials are even more ‘isolated, restless, and entitled’ after having been forced to follow quarantine protocols and left with only social media and dating apps to fondle with. We very well know how important sex contributes to physical intimacy and healthy relationships. It is like food that fuels the fire. Take that away and people would be left craving for meat in a stick, consuming all the bits and pieces of everyone they see.

Dating has also become more complicated as people indulge in more short and quick media and platforms. It has tweaked their innate ability to make a conversation and understand the other person. They are easily distracted and they often look at superficial things.

A writer on Medium, a social publishing platform, enumerated ‘reasons why dating as a millennial is so screwed up’. She wrote that one of the reasons why is that they think that seeing photos of lovely couples is proof of love. People tend to associate perfect relationships with how good and fun they seemingly looked on social media when in fact, it does not in any way tell the complete story behind what people see on the platforms. It merely shows smiley faces and happy places while hiding the sad truths and the ugly fights.

All those things considred, I think love is not dead. In fact, it is everywhere. Love can be found in friends, family, partners, communities, and other people. People may have just found different kinds of love today instead of a heteronormative kind of romantic relationship. They have been more aware of what they want. It has become crystal clear that they prefer a specific kind of love over the romantic one.

A CNN article noted that “if you look around, you’ll quickly see that the yearning for love and romance is manifesting itself in different ways these days.” Whether it be from tv shows, books, stories, or songs — if not from people — love certainly can be found in mysterious places, things, and ways.